#BRINGBACKNICKLEBACK

In this day and age we are all under the illusion our freedom of speech is used for the better. Like our opinions, voice, will have an effect on the better. Let’s face it, for the most part were wasting our breath, opinions are twisted, and only the negative shine through threw. Believing worldwide press,  again we as individual’s have allowed this to come through. In what should be a time of absolute togetherness, instead of fighting for good, against war, or against what needs to be done to better our world. We stand yet again allowing the ignorance and the unintelligence to be recognized. This time in the form of a rock band, what’s next?

                #DontletNickleback has become not only and opinion but an international movement. How this began and why is still unclear, I’ve done weeks of research on this matter and come to the conclusion this became because of a small group of people. A group that had apparently had a grudge against Chad Kroeger’s hair, so called derogatory lyrics, and repetitive music! Well today I not only write this as a complete and faithful Nickleback fan, but as a music fan in general, and a concerned citizen of Canada, and the world! First of all, let’s just state the facts shall we. Nickleback is one of the best and most commercially successful bands in Canadian groups, selling more than 50 million albums worldwide. They are the second best-selling foreign acts inside the U.S, Only falling behind the Beatles. So first and foremost KUDOS NickleBack! They have had amazing hits, making soundtracks, top billboard spots, and multiple musical awards! British Columbia residents, shame on you~ For allowing this campaign to start in your own province when NickleBack is your home band, not only has this band not only supported communities and musical talent out of Vancouver but also helped put you on the map worldwide! Before you try to judge me, yes I have spent many, many years living in both, Vancouver, Vancouver Island, and the U.S. so trust me when I say you weren’t known for nothing until Nickleback! I was also blessed to know such band before they became a worldwide phenomenon.

                THE TRUTH: NickleBack,is a talented group of men, who have exceptional song writing talent, musical talent, an insight to reach all, and have fought through the adversity not only in the musical industry but as being a Canadian band to accomplish more than most will in a lifetime! Instead of given them credit for all they have done, we have persecuted and tried to destroy all they have. Here we stand ready to rip apart a band, a man for his hair? We want to complain about derogatory lyrics? Or so called repetitive music? Well then every other artist beware! Katy Perry, Linkin Park, Eminem, Lil Wayne, jay Z, Hedley, and ACDC….prepare yourselves, you shall be next because you all fall under these categories. I am a huge fan of all of these artist’s but let’s not pretend, that other’s don’t find their lyrics  derogatory, their music  repetitive, and their costumes obscene. Nickleback like many other’s write truth, writes honesty, which can be hard to accept! They write about honesty, worldwide issues, hope, belief, and the faith to become all you want too. Call me crazy but is this not what we as a society should want? Expect of our artists? Let’s not even mention they have always been great men, wonderful supporters of Canadian and worldwide communities, great to fans, and exceptional performers!

                The newest campaign against this band has started with a Brit, Craig Mandell, severely upsets me and disturbs me. His newest extension to this campaign is why I have started my own #Bringbacknickleback. Mr. Mandell has taken it upon himself to try and stop all NickleBack performances in the UK, and the boycott of their music. Craig Mandell has even gone as far as to raise money for on an international site, crowdfunding.com to raise money for charity in the hopes of stopping them from ever touring in the UK. CROWDFUNDING, what the hell? You are going to accept such ignorance? Good, you should love my new fundraiser, which by the way shall not be consisted of giving up our hard earned dollars, or supporting such a site! I was lead to believe crowdfunding was based off of morals, and the right to raise awareness for business’s, social and community needs?! Instead like most businesses and social sites, they have showed their ass and allowed for such things to be considered “fundraiser’s”. Crowdfunding claims to be a site that will not support or tolerate any personal gain or support, however has exactly done such for Craig Mandell!  YES I HAVE EXPOSED YOU! Anything for money right? To the CEO of crowdfunding.com, do you feel proud of your company now? Are you revealing in the success of the whole $339.00 as of tonight? Do you feel at ease that you have allowed such ‘causes’ as they claim to be to publically supported by your site? Once again anything for hits, publicity and money right, you are shameful, you are not in any way here to support our communities you are out there for yourself, and it’s disgusting! Reality and facts for both you and Craig Mandell with only days to hit your deadline $339.00, has not given you a clue, you never will meet your end goal of $1000.00. However thank you for exposing yourself and forever ruining your own reputation.

                Craig Mandell has started a campaign on crowdfunding.com that will allow you to show your support for #nonickleback by donating money to charity. Sorry, let’s all take a moment to laugh!....Now to continue on, $1 will donate obviously a dollar to charity (p.s. thanks for the huge contribution to charity!) anyways a dollar donated and an e-mail to NickleBacks manager kindly requesting NickleBack not play or book a gig in the UK!  $5 dollars allows you to donate that amount, and a slightly more forceful e-mail with the same request. $10 gets you a donation and a ‘slightly’ more forceful e-mail. $50 dollars will get you an explicit e-mail requesting the same, with an attached MP3 of Nicklebacks music to show the band how horrible they are.

                                                   PREPARE FOR EXPLICT LANGUAG E

                OK so let’s break this down, for those of you who have yet to catch on, prepare for truth to smack you right in the face. To Mr. Mandell directly, I was unaware you knew NickleBack member’s so personally you feel you may pass such judgement! Since you are allowed to pass such judgment on Chad Kroeger and his band, I suppose we may pass judgement on you for the way you look, sound and act? Just a little head’s up your hair game isn’t all that either, I am fairly sure they have barbers in Britaian…go see one, they’ll fix you right up! Now on to real facts Mr. Craig Mandell if you took the time to listen to all of NickleBack’s music you would notice every song has a different meaning, most of which are incredibly positive compared to most! You are sir, what we call a music skimmer! You have got to be the most ignorant, most unintelligent, musically uneducated person I have had the pity of coming across.  

                Now onto those supporting such ignorance, and unintelligent values. Are you that illiterate that you have to pay a random man write an email for you? You are that unintelligent to realize that you are not forced to buy their CD’s or listen to the radio stations playing their songs? You are never forced to watch Youtube videos, download, or record such songs, if you so choose not to. If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it, plain and simple…obviously common sense has escaped your realm though. However were you not raised with enough morals or fight to know that freedom of speech, expression, cultural/musical/ and theatrical diversity are a must? I PITY YOU! Let’s face it, you are either to cowardly to reach out to Nicklebacks manager yourself, or your trending followers. Personally if I was going to write an explicit e-mail to someone or try to voice my opinion, I’d rather have my own words heard than someone else’s duplicated! In case this hasn’t been clear enough, if you share the same opinions as Craig Mandell, by having him send an explicit DUPLICATED e-mail on your behalf is not being an individual is not voicing your opinion it’s voicing his! BRAVO for allowing someone else to speak on your behalf and becoming a pawn in a pansy scheme, you done exceptionally great at that!

                So let’s reassess, our world has gone to shit, we have no money left to support our countries, no money to support our social programs, families or ourselves. We are at war across the world! We have multiple community, country wide, and global issues, murder, homelessness, disease, adversity, political destruction, and we are going to focus and donate our HARD EARNED dollars to such a ridiculous cause, we are going to support such a person?  Well if that’s the case, we had all mine as well surrender to hell now, because that’s exactly where were heading in this direction. This is only the beginning of people trying to raise money on their behalf, should we allow it? Should we boycott bands, or musicians because a few people don’t like them? Like this is the biggest issue we have to face right now? Support mass greed, mass ignorance….or support freedom of speech, life and culture, unlike Craig Mandell. I leave the choice up to you.  

                If only someone such as you crowd funder would help fight Ebola, what a novel idea huh? But no let’s raise E-mail’s to a rock bands manager, whom can erase them at the click of a button, because boycotting NickleBack deserves worldwide coverage!

 If you support NickleBack, no links, no facebook pages just put #BRINGBACKNICKLEBACK! I take no Political, financial or social gain from this and never will!

 

 

Photo Credit: NickleBack MLBlogs Network

 

Sometimes.....

Somehow my thoughts are twisted. My mind’s gone astray. My life’s a mess and I can never get it just right. As soon as I can see the top, I fall. I love those around me to easy, and cut them off to quickly. I am indecisive, loud, crazy, and faithful (even when I shouldn’t be), I am determined and uncertain all at once. I am all you would considered a flawed person to be. I am damaged but too strong to admit it, and to stubborn to admit when I want or need something.

                Here I am fixing all that’s wrong, and once again afraid to jump in. My friends, my family think I am such a strong individual despite my past, unfortunately their unaware I still make decisions that lead me down the wrong path’s, I still can’t make up my mind. Night’s alone I cry, I pray to god I’ll find my way and find something that will lead me back to myself. I am still very much broken, still very much unaware what the future brings for me. The only small piece of my heart that gives me confidence is despite adversity or pain, I push forward.

                The truth is I suffer from many sheltered, painful health issues, I can’t yet cope with. I am fighting now to overcome them. However to go public with it all is still too much for me. I have yet to even let close friends know. Will I overcome them….yes. Will I be the same afterwards, hardly, I’ll be better. However in the meantime it leaves me cut off from a lot of parts of making a new life, and it leaves me cut off from those I truly care about. In 9 day’s I officially enter the new stage of my life, I let go of the pain, the health issues, the past and start a new me. To be completely honest, it’s fucking terrifying! I am not sure who I am without the problems, without the drama, and without the need to ask for permission to take care of myself first.

                   For months now, since I’ve arrived in Canada, I knew I was leaving my heart behind, as I had to leave my kids in Florida, and  get it all together before I could have my kids come up. No actually let’s be honest, I have made so many mistakes, I needed to earn the right to have them come with me! Prove I wouldn’t put other’s first and prove I could do this on my own. Which heaven knows is not easy. But we give it all and see what we can make of it. For those who have never done it, leaving you children behind, with no goodbyes, no hugs, no words is the most excruciating feeling you shall ever feel. It would be much easier to stop breathing. You have to learn to live numb to pain, happiness, and everything in between. You have to learn to cope with complete emptiness and helplessness. The only way I have ever been able to describe it, is imagine gasping for breath in a room with no air, imagine life after death Imagine seeing your future crumble beneath you. Many have asked why I don’t cover my walls in photos, why I don’t post about them every day on facebook, why I don’t consistently talk about them. Here’s the answer you’ve been waiting for, and that I’ve been waiting to find myself It so damn painful. Could you imagine waking up every day and stabbing yourself in the heart? Have you ever imagined what it would be like to re live death every day? Because that’s the only equivalent I can give you. I feel so much pain ad guilt and pain over leaving them, I can’t even recognize when I am crying for them, until someone point’s it out. I spend every minute wishing for the re unification with them, or death. Because living in between is like living at death’s door.

 

Another realization through the past week, I don’t think I just left my kids and my heart behind. I think I left the person I was always meant to be with behind. Which is not half as panful though! So that Is one thing I can deal with, just coping with the fact that he doesn’t know. Life’s hard to comprehend sometimes you never see the ones you , until their gone. Sometimes you never appreciate their position in your life, or their worth until their gone. Hell, sometimes we don’t even realize we still care about that person until their no longer an option.  

 

He’s perfectly flawed, and doesn’t even realize I see the flaws and find beauty within them. He certainly has never realized I might be the perfect person for him, although I believe he deserves so much more. There’s a reason why neither one of us can make shit work with someone else, why we keep coming back to each other. Nothing makes sense until he say’s it, nothing seems right until I share it with him, it must mean something! Life has always continued on, Life will function without him, but for some reason every day, every night, all I want is to take care of him. I refuse to because I know I am in a position to only focus on me. The minute I focus on anything or anyone else. I FAIL. Maybe he’ll never see me, see us as what we could be, and maybe I never want us to. I want to scream at him, want to make it clear, no one will ever be as flawed as me, but no one will ever make sure he is, and can be all he wants to be but me!  It’s a sad reality but it’s true, and the truth is, I’ll never be the one to go there. Life’s too painful to take more disappointment.

So here we are today, 27, broken, lost, and trying to find my way, in between business deals, lifelong decisions, going back to school, trying to become an officer of the law, YES A COP! Acting and modeling.  I am trying to write again although my fear and my pain have got me blocked from so much of my natural talent and expression. The fact of the matter is no matter what comes in between I want to learn who I am and want to learn how to live life. Are you ready too? BECAUSE IT’S TIME!!!! JUMP IN WITH ME! We’ll see where it leads, but at least we can say we tried, even if the worst happens we will never have to live with the agony of regret!

                Maybe love works out, maybe fate deals us the right cards, maybe we’ll make it big, who knows! However  we’ll have the satisfaction and pride in knowing we tried!

Best regards, and all the blessing’s I have,

"A Promise Kept"

"A promise kept" is a heart felt, inspiring story of Andriy Semotiuk and his mother Salomea Drozdowska's life. Andriy's first person perspective of his life with his mother is creative, well written and inspiring. I must admit when first reading the summary, and first few pages of the novel I summarized the book up quickly to be an uninviting, simplified version of a run of the mill mother's life events. Although I ignorantly and silently made a conclusion of this story, curiosity got the better of me. I am very glad it did. Mr. Semotiuk taught me the true meaning of 'never judging a book by it's cover'. The knowledge and admiration Andriy has for his family is not only conveyed through his skills in writing but with a talent many writer's lack. Putting life's trials and tribulations into words with a grace and a dignity that allows the story to relate to many other's, while remaining completely unique to mother and himself. This incredible story not only teaches us about a strong, beautiful, independent, but stubborn woman, Salomea Drozdowska. It teaches just exactly what a mother facing severe adversities and disabilities can overcome her son and herself. With in such lesson's we also gain a new and much needed perspective of life in other countries, surviving WWII and how Canada has grown, not only technologically but culturally. Salomea's life begins in an average family. With little reason's to for see the trials and tribulations, her family, child, and herself would be dealt. Through personal and political tragedies everywhere she turns, Salomea overcomes and conquers her own fate. From childhood illness, a war torn a plagued country, and physical abuse she never gives up her hope of a successful and safe life. With many loses and setbacks, she survives to see such success and beauty in life. Although life was never easy, she proves determination knows no bounds. The knowledge, the research Andriy put's into his work leaves you with a craving to learn more. To appreciate all we have and what those whom love us will endure for our well being. Salomea's life no longer faces the fear of fading away through passing year's as so many before us have. He keeps her spirit and strength alive through print, through his own personal success, but also through life lesson's he now passes on to his families new generations. We are lucky enough to have had him share such intimate events with us. Her legacy may now live on through us, his readers. Thank you Mr. Semotiuk for reminding us, life is not always black and white, life is, in any generation what we choose to make of it.

I recommend everyone reads this book, especially mothers!
To buy your own copy please visit the link below.
A Promise Kept, A Tribute to a Mother's Love

Moving Forward.

Beginning this has been a terrifying, exciting, hopeless thought of mine for many years. Somehow we all need an outlet through the chaos of life, and writing is mine. When trying to think of a topic to start off with, I went through endless ideas. However still came to no conclusive decision. It would have been easier and much more satisfying to run out into the middle of a field and scream at the top of my lungs. Still without settling on a topic, I begin. I suppose this will surround truth and honesty. A truth within myself I have yet to truly admit too, an honesty about my circumstances I spend the majority of my time hiding from the world. Not that I am embarrassed in any way but more of a fear that the truth and the realization of who I am and where I have been will break me.
Some how along this 27 year journey I have found myself in some wonderful circumstances and some truly miserable ones. This is a personal goal to understand where I have been and why I have allowed myself to be in certain circumstances. Although the truth is, I may never know. This may be a life long journey I endure with no successful outcome. Dark, lonely nights have left me with a hopelessness and a strength I never knew lived within. But I've learnt somehow, the hopelessness gives me strength and the strength leaves me hopeless. It's a terrifying, determined circle I run within my own mind every moment. I find peace within the confusion, partially because it's all I've ever known. Largely because the definition of understanding makes little to no sense. As soon as we find ourselves understanding, we find ourselves with more questions then we've answered. We have all been there. That never ending desperate question why? Why are we here? Why does life have to be so excruciatingly difficult? Why have I allowed this to happen? Some settle on the easiest response, a response which allows us to hide from what was and is our responsibility.  God has set this path in front of me, it was meant to be. I however can not settle on such a simplified response. Yes god has laid the paths in front of me, but where I took them and what I chose to do along the way, solely was my own doing.
I find it's to late to make apologies to myself or try to glue the pieces back together. All I am left with now is the opportunity and the hope to re build. Somehow I hope with in the revelation I can leave the pain, the misery, and previous expectations behind and start anew. Somewhere along the lines I lost not only myself but my soul. My heart has remained, as broken and torn as it may be. How I am unsure. It's still there, still beating, still keeping me going through all of life's trials. As I recall my life, and some of the utterly disturbing and painful parts of it, especially the abuse I put myself through, and allowed others to place upon me, I am infuriated with myself. I hurt, I cry for my children, my family, friends, and myself. For the disappointment, for breaking expectations and talents I simply let go by the way side. Angry that I have allowed myself to believe that all good things will come to an end, and happiness would never become a part of who I am again. Maybe never was. How could I have made so many wrong turns. How could I have never allowed myself to reach my potential as a person. The frustration and the agony of letting those down in my life, open the flood gates of my heart to a whole other world of tragedy. Somehow through this storm of negative, I will come to a place of peace. I will find contentment within myself at least. If there is anything I owe myself, it is that. Some how I went from one extreme to the other, feeling useless and worthless to some how allowing myself to feel entitled. Both were drastically wrong. I am in no way worthless but I am in no way entitled. I have the opportunity to become so, but many years shall pass before I will ever truly be able to say I have earned that. For now I am Brittany. I am allowed to be, and should be Brittany. Whom ever that woman is.
Who Brittany is, I have no clue! Where she's been I am well aware of, but need to move on from. The mundane life I lived and person I was shall no longer linger within. I know where I am, lost as to how I got here and have yet to figure out where I am going. Now has come the time to Jump in! Scared to death, and with no parachute I take on this new opportunity to reach my full potential as a mother, and a woman. The path in front of me is dark, full of curiosities, and missteps. As I recall each of my previous falls as if they were yesterday, I remind myself I've always gotten back up, and this new chapter in my life may knock me to my knees, but nothing can break my soul again but myself. I suppose all I have truly learnt about myself with in the past few nights of solitude is I am a perfectly flawed, broken, hopeful and hopeless individual. I don't understand what I want or where I want I am headed but the determination to find out is slightly exciting. I no longer feel pain, I no longer feel happiness, I feel all there is left to feel, gravity. Although the undeniable love that still lingers, gives me hope sometimes when you have been stripped bare of all  you are and all you know, sometimes your left almost numb. It's not an evil, it's a survival tactic I believe all individuals have with in them to survive. We take every day in stride, one breathe, one step at a time. Where is may lead, we shall find out.
Yes I feel the urge to run, to hide from all I am forced to face. Yes I have lost all I built over 27 years. Yes I have lost my everyday life with my children, I have lost what I believed was love. Yes I am lost, and have broken so much that has meant so much to me. But I am in no way done. This fight shall continue and although I may not win, I will know that I fought. As I always have with dignity and with faith. Some will judge, some will have opinions and misinterpretations of all I speak and all I am. I will strive to hold my own, to keep my head above water even when I am drowning and more importantly to figure out who I am again. I have allowed to many people for to long feel they had the right to decide whom I was and what I was capable of, It's time for me to take back control. To make my own decisions, to choose my own life and my own fate. I am more than a woman, a daughter, a mother, a friend, and certainly more than the world's stepping stone. Who that is remains to be seen. It shall either be beautiful or terrifying, but either way it will be true.